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Tackling my anxiety.

As you all know I suffer with anxiety. Not so much social anxiety, I'm okay in a room full of people but if I'm put on the spot or made to do something new I freeze up and get so nervous. For example, when I was in my first year of University I had to take the train and I would have had to change trains along the journey. I started to have a panic attack and didn't go. That's why my break through yesterday was a big step in the right direction.

I've been thinking about doing a masters in Journalism and the best place for this, in terms of contacts and location, is City University of London. I booked a place to the open evening and tried to persuade my friends to come with me. They didn't have the money to spare which meant that I had to go by myself. Alarm bells went off in my head. Having to go to London on my own, negotiate the tube by myself and when at the open evening I would be put on the spot to ask strangers questions I needed answers to. I reassured myself that I'd be fine and off I went.

I had the most relaxed day. I did manage to do everything I wanted and I loved the University and the course. So the day trip was a step in the right direction with my anxiety but I haven't conquered it yet.

But yesterday, I nearly had a breakdown when I had to find my way back to Waterloo from the university. I gave myself a pep talk and made my way back. On the train back to Southampton I was so proud of myself and I know this may sound pathetic to many but to me it was a massive step.

Go me.

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