Hello lovelies. If you read my last blog post you'll know that I have anxiety, I've never been to see a doctor about it so I'm not diagnosed with it but it is what I identify with. This isn't a post to make anyone feel sorry for me or to get attention, I just wanted to tell my story.
One of the major things that I have issue with is paranoia. A key example is the last sentence of my introduction to this post. I was so afraid and paranoid that anyone reading this, people I know or people I don't, would think badly of me for writing this that I had to justify myself. This occurs all the time in my life. In social situations if two people have a conversation by me and I'm not included I'll think that I've done something wrong for them not to include me. Or if I'm in my room at Uni and I hear some of my friends laughing together and I'm not there to join in I'll feel like they don't like me as I'm not included. I know this may sound silly to some people and of course they aren't intentionally leaving me out, they're jut talking to friends, but in my head it's something I worry about.
Another big issue for me is new experiences and meeting new people. Thankfully my mum and dad always eased me into new things by not making them a big deal and being very supportive throughout my childhood and even now so my anxiety isn't that bad where I won't try new things. However, when trying new things, and especially meting new people, I feel extremely nervous. An example when I met my boyfriend for the first time in person sober (we met in a nightclub where I was quite drunk) I was that nervous that I was physically ill. This part of my anxiety is the part that gets to me the most because experiences that I should be really enjoying such as meeting my boyfriend, going on a plane for the first time, my first driving lesson e.t.c. were plagued with me fretting over every little detail.
I don't claim to be an expert on anxiety and I know that people do have the condition worse than I do, I just wanted to share the things that are an issue for me.
LMR
One of the major things that I have issue with is paranoia. A key example is the last sentence of my introduction to this post. I was so afraid and paranoid that anyone reading this, people I know or people I don't, would think badly of me for writing this that I had to justify myself. This occurs all the time in my life. In social situations if two people have a conversation by me and I'm not included I'll think that I've done something wrong for them not to include me. Or if I'm in my room at Uni and I hear some of my friends laughing together and I'm not there to join in I'll feel like they don't like me as I'm not included. I know this may sound silly to some people and of course they aren't intentionally leaving me out, they're jut talking to friends, but in my head it's something I worry about.
Another big issue for me is new experiences and meeting new people. Thankfully my mum and dad always eased me into new things by not making them a big deal and being very supportive throughout my childhood and even now so my anxiety isn't that bad where I won't try new things. However, when trying new things, and especially meting new people, I feel extremely nervous. An example when I met my boyfriend for the first time in person sober (we met in a nightclub where I was quite drunk) I was that nervous that I was physically ill. This part of my anxiety is the part that gets to me the most because experiences that I should be really enjoying such as meeting my boyfriend, going on a plane for the first time, my first driving lesson e.t.c. were plagued with me fretting over every little detail.
I don't claim to be an expert on anxiety and I know that people do have the condition worse than I do, I just wanted to share the things that are an issue for me.
LMR
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