Hello lovelies.
4 years is a long time. 4 years ago I was just about to turn 16, from then until now I think I have grown up and shaped myself into the person I am today. This I have done without my brother, my once best friend, who hasn't spoken to me in 4 years. I'm not going to explain why, you can go back and read about that in my previous blog posts, I just wanted to post somewhere as a source for my pain. I don't even know if that's the right word, pain? It was painful at the time it happened but now I have kind of moved on the word to describe the way I feel escapes me.
I think the hardest part is going through so many things and not being able to share it with him. All of my results days, moving away from home and going uni, my first heartbreak, all of that I have had to do without him. I was about to type alone but I haven't been alone, I have my parents, my friends and my boyfriend but there's something a little different about having your sibling there. They have been your partner in crime for your whole/part of your life and although they may drive you crazy at times you know that no matter what they have your back because they're your best friend. That's what I have lost.
It's hard to talk about this to people because no-one I have spoken to has been through what I have and so it's hard for them to imagine it. It's difficult to imagine the closest person to you just walking away. Which is why I've written this post, sorry if it's been a little depressing.
So I urge you, if you are lucky enough to have close relationships with not only your siblings but your family, don't take them for granted because you never know when they won't be there.
LMR
4 years is a long time. 4 years ago I was just about to turn 16, from then until now I think I have grown up and shaped myself into the person I am today. This I have done without my brother, my once best friend, who hasn't spoken to me in 4 years. I'm not going to explain why, you can go back and read about that in my previous blog posts, I just wanted to post somewhere as a source for my pain. I don't even know if that's the right word, pain? It was painful at the time it happened but now I have kind of moved on the word to describe the way I feel escapes me.
I think the hardest part is going through so many things and not being able to share it with him. All of my results days, moving away from home and going uni, my first heartbreak, all of that I have had to do without him. I was about to type alone but I haven't been alone, I have my parents, my friends and my boyfriend but there's something a little different about having your sibling there. They have been your partner in crime for your whole/part of your life and although they may drive you crazy at times you know that no matter what they have your back because they're your best friend. That's what I have lost.
It's hard to talk about this to people because no-one I have spoken to has been through what I have and so it's hard for them to imagine it. It's difficult to imagine the closest person to you just walking away. Which is why I've written this post, sorry if it's been a little depressing.
So I urge you, if you are lucky enough to have close relationships with not only your siblings but your family, don't take them for granted because you never know when they won't be there.
LMR
Comments
Post a Comment